It’s a question commonly asked by those who haven’t been in an abusive relationship before: “Why won’t she just leave?” While this might sound like an easy decision for those who never experienced it, it’s actually a matter of life and death to most sufferers. Those who have been threatened by a chef knife, know the terror of the moment. For them, their choice of not leaving and simply putting up with an abusive relationship is attributed to certain factors.
Why Some Choose to Stay?
In most cases, survivors don’t have enough resources to successfully leave her partner. She might only have limited resources to provide for herself and her kids, especially if she has been in an abusive relationship for years. These resources aren’t just limited to money. They could also include the following:
- Social resources such as support from their family or friends
- Community resources such as a place to live in
- Personal resources such as skills that will help her support herself and her kids
Another common reason why a victim chooses not to leave an abusive household is because she has a strong desire to hold her family together. In other words, she’s doing it for the sake of her children. This makes it really hard for survivors to leave their partners. Moreover, other friends or family members could pressure her to stay.
What Might Happen if She Chooses to Leave?
Leaving an abusive relationship is different for each individual. There are those partners who will threaten the victim with more violence if she chooses to leave. There are also those who tried leaving and ended up receiving more violence, or dead. There are women who employ certain strategies to make sure they’re safe upon leaving. These could include safe shelters or community resources that will help them be freed of abuse and start a new and better life.